Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I just gargled with NyQuil
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
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