Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
