hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
