Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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