Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
