Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
