Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
