you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize