if i can run in heels then i can drive
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Randomize
