My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize