This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
