No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
