Cold hands, warm shart.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
