i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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