rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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