i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
