READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
