its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
