Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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