As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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