I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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