im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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