When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
