I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
