I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize