I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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