were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
