The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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