She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
