I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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