I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
This is classic penis vs brain.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
