Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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