My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize