HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Ketchup is God's man juice
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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