Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
