we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
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