I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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