I met the friendliest cop last night
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
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