I hope mine doesn't look like that
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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