i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
