all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize