3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
