I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
