it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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