The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
It's official drugs can't kill me
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
