Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Randomize
