the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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