I got chris browned last night
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
