too bad you live with your parents still
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
