I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
