You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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