I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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