So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
