New invention idea: vibrating tampons
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
