Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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