Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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