my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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