Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
