i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize