Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
