Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize