Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
