Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
