We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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