you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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