He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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