i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
