Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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