Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
