Im at strip club and am horny
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
This house was built for laser tag.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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